Hey Hey mamasitas,
Boy the weather here fuckin' sucks. It's raining again, and I'm beginning to think this shit ain't gonna clear. Why the fuck does that bitch Mother Nature have to be so god damn cruel to us? Answer me that, what the fuck?
Granted, me and her haven't gotten along in the past, and we've have slight differences in opinion-but I give that cooz her freedom and choice, and I do what I have to do, and expect the same.
I ain't one to complain, but the bitch is responsible for the death of 2 former associates of mine-both of which perished in a 'weather' related accident when flying over Dallas back in 86. Yeah, that's right, nineteen fuckin' eighty six, the same year I 'forgot' to deliver some eggs to one of her grandchildren or some shit. The bitch calls me up, and says "Hey fuzzy face, what the fuck?" "My little Jerry(or whatever the fuck his name was) was good this year, why no fucking eggs?". I told her the truth, which I'm about to tell you.
This Jerry kid, or what da fuck-was a little douche bag- who in the two years previous, took the fuckin eggs we got him, and destroyed them. I ain't talkin' no "Oopsy, I accidently dropped my egg shit", I'm talkin' about that little tard decided to leave one in his dad's car for a few months, until he found it. He took one on the beautifully crafted eggs, and through it at this one chick he didn't care for, he tried to shove one up a dog's...well, you get the picture.
I try telling Mother Nature this shit, and she calls me a fuckin' liar. Can you believe that shit? A fuckin' liar-I don't fuckin' think so bitch. So I set her straight, I tell her "Hey, listen up cooz, the little shitwad ain't gonna be getting eggs no more, not until he can respect em' proper yall". It must have pissed her off, and she used her power and shit to make it start raining frogs and what not over Texas. What a fucking coincedence. My main man Terrence(one fat fuck of a bunny, but a hell of an earner), and his associate Sir Ivan the Egg-were flying over Texas at the time.
So, we made our understanding clear to each other. She still fucks with me with this rain and hurricane bullshit-but she's got a lot of friends here-and I can certainly show them how angry their Mother nature has made me.
Fuck, I'm gonna call that cooz up now, and set up a mettin or some shit.
Later G-Dogs,
Edvard